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And, yes, I DO take it personally: Have I mentioned lately how much I hate U.S. airlines?
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate U.S. airlines?

especially u.s. airlines...?

  • walking onboard and catching the SMELL, especially of the "legacy" carriers (american, united, usairways, etc.) whose interiors are often just plain dirty...
  • navigating boarding passengers both upstream and downstream in order to grab one of those few wads of synthetic fiber they dare to call pillows that they've conveniently stuffed into one overhead baggage compartment at the rear of the plane...
  • blankets...? fuhgeddaboudit...
  • trying to get comfortable in a seat designed by a chiropractor with a taste for torture and lots of bills to pay...
  • watching the doors on the overhead baggage compartments pop open from the vibrations of the aircraft as it accelerates down the runway on takeoff...
  • watching a few pieces of luggage from the suddenly-opened overhead baggage compartments fall out into the aisle, narrowly missing the heads of passengers in aisle seats...
  • carrying on a conversation with a passenger from another country who sits there open-mouthed and incredulous when the flight attendant offers to RENT him earphones to listen to the in-flight video entertainment for FIVE DOLLARS...
  • attempting to turn on the reading light only to find it doesn't work...
  • listening to the flight attendant announce that she regrets to inform us that there's a problem with the in-flight entertainment system and that it won't be available on this flight...
  • using the lavatory and finding that an entire plastic wall panel is loose, has pulled away from the wall and is making a flopping noise with every slight movement of the aircraft...
  • carrying on a conversation with a passenger from another country who sits there doubly open-mouthed and incredulous when the flight attendant offers to SELL him liquor, beer or wine for FIVE DOLLARS...
  • carrying on a conversation with a passenger from another country who sits there triply open-mouthed and incredulous when the flight attendant offers to SELL him the same tasteless, overpriced "food" with questionable nutritional and even more questionable chemical content for FIVE DOLLARS that they used to GIVE AWAY FOR NOTHING...
  • pulling down the tray table to find an advertisement for a las vegas hotel tastefully affixed...
  • retrieving checked baggage at the end of the flight as i look at my watch for the 50th time and answer a cell phone call from my son asking how much longer it will be before i meet him curbside...
and NOW, i will be able to experience a BRAND-NEW TREAT...

  • watching a passenger checking in a second bag, staring open-mouthed and incredulous as the agent tells him it will cost him $25 to do so...
Whether traveling for business or pleasure, airline passengers might want to think twice about how much they bring along for the ride, starting next month.

Five of the seven major US airlines (Continental, Delta, Northwest, United, and US Air) plan to charge most customers $25 each way to check a second bag starting May 5. Of the largest carriers, only American and Southwest have decided not to go along - for now. Airtran is adding a $10 second bag fee for travel on or after May 15. Spirit Airlines already had a $10 fee if paid online, or $20 at the airport.

But the new fees do not apply to all passengers, advises Airfarewatchdog.com. Those buying first-class or business-class tickets, or flying on frequent flyer awards in those classes, will typically be exempt, as will frequent-flyer program members who have achieved upper tiers with their airlines (such as United Mileage Plus Premier customers). Military personnel flying "with orders" are off the hook.

These fees are in addition to those for excess, oversized and overweight bags, so a passenger traveling on United, for example, with three checked bags weighing 50 pounds or less will be charged $25 for the second but $100 for the third.

however, this is one of the very few articles i've read that actually offers some decent advice about how you can go about BEATING this latest airline fleecing scam...
There must be a better way, and there is: UPS, US Postal Service, or FedEx. Flying from your home in Manhattan to a convention in Long Beach? UPS will send your 51 pounds of trade-show samples each way for $59.34, when last checked at ups.com, with four-day service. Or ship that 60-pound suitcase from Miami to San Francisco for $63.78 each way.

Not only will you avoid having to lug your luggage through endless airport concourses, but chances are that UPS will do a better job of not losing your shipment than your airline will (and if UPS does misplace it, at least the company will feel bad about it.)

So tell your airline "No, thanks," next time it tries to hit you with baggage fees. Plan ahead, tell your hotel (or branch office or family) that you're expecting a shipment and to hold it until your arrival, and save yourself some money and a backache.

for the past four years, i've been traveling great distances across three continents and usually end up staying in a place for two to three months at a time... this has led me to carefully select my travel items because whatever i have with me has to serve to create a "temporary home"... this, in turn, has led to essentially making my "home" consist of those things that go with me everywhere... it's not a bad existence, really, and i've not only gotten quite used to it, i LIKE it...

however...

i use one large bag primarily for clothes, shoes and a few toiletries... a smaller bag carries everything else, not the least of which is a large stock of various electronics gear - cables, adapters, gizmos, etc... the combined weight usually pushes 70 lbs... advance shipping internationally is not an option... for one thing, the cost would be prohibitive and, for another, shipping to countries like the one i'm sitting in right now - afghanistan - would not only be prohibitively expensive, but i'd have to pretty much kiss my stuff goodbye permanently...

in short, my friends, unless i'm able to check-in for my first flight leg on a non-u.s. carrier - not likely when my flight originates in northern nevada, more likely when i'm headed back INTO the u.s. - i'm going to have a minimum $25 B.O.H.I.C.A. (bend over, here it comes again) every time i fly...

have i mentioned lately how much i HATE u.s. airlines...?

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