Totally absurd U.S. statements to kick off the long holiday weekend

evidently, u.s. ridiculousness knows no bounds...

first, we want iran to "confess"...

Iran must "confess" to running a past nuclear weapons program or its claims of cooperating with a U.N. investigation will not be credible, the chief U.S. envoy to the U.N. atomic watchdog agency said Friday.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, meanwhile, said in Washington that if Iran wants U.N. sanctions lifted and avoid new ones, it must halt uranium enrichment and related activities that could make the ingredients for an atomic bomb.

If Iran complies, Rice said she was "prepared to meet my (Iranian) counterpart any place and anytime and anywhere, and we can talk about anything." But "as long as the Iranians are talking and practicing enrichment, we're not getting anywhere," she said.

Iran says it needs an enrichment program to produce fuel for civilian power plants, but Washington suspects it is part of its ultimate drive to possess nuclear weapons. Low enriched uranium generates power, but highly enriched, it has no use other than for the fissile payload of nuclear warheads.

Gregory L. Schulte, the chief U.S. delegate to the International Atomic Energy Agency in Vienna, said Iran's refusal to suspend enrichment "violates Security Council resolutions and casts doubt on its leaders' ultimate intent."

and, THEN... (hold on, this is good...!)

the u.s. DENIES that the destroyed videotapes contained any evidence of torture...

US government lawyers flatly denied Friday that videotapes destroyed by the CIA contained any scenes of the torture of terror suspects in Guantanamo Bay... .

"It is inconceivable that the destroyed tapes could have been about abuse, mistreatment or torture of detainees at Guantanamo Bay," lawyer Jody Hunt, representing the White House, told the court.

laugh...? cry...? go pig out on some more vanilla wafers...? run screaming down the street...? make my bed with freshly-laundered sheets...? slit my wrists...? so many choices...

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